


I Like It Heavy

by elderscrolls



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: AU, College AU, M/M, Modern AU, Trans Female Character(s), band au, ill add more later im so fucking tired, implied / mentioned past self harm, implied / mentioned past sexual abuse, kind of bgish but theres a little focus so, toya is aged up but still younger than the rest of the cast, trans girl beau, trans girl nott
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-05-21 13:12:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14916018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elderscrolls/pseuds/elderscrolls
Summary: Caleb doesn't expect much when his friend Beau drags him to a Mighty Nein concert so that she can flirt with her crush.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to upload this three fucking times before i figured out emojis wouldnt work i am literally on the verge of death. any (x emoji) was supposed to be the actual emoji but ao3s a bitch
> 
> edit: i didnt say before, but the titles based on [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ugwl46p7vvk) ! in my mind the mighty nein has a sound very similar to halestorms

“Hurry up, Caleb!” Beau shouted, and he could see her through her open car  window, leaning on the horn to let out one long, sustained honk. The sun had already set, the street lamps illuminating the pick-up truck that was so old it was practically falling apart. To Caleb's immense dismay, the horn was still _extremely_ functional.

“Please do not piss off my neighbors,” Caleb said for what felt like the millionth time this week as he opened the truck’s passenger door. The horn had been unnecessary, anyway, considering he had been jogging up to the car as she honked it, but he had a feeling Beau just liked to make noise. Caleb slid in beside Nott, who, being the smallest of the three, had been banished to the middle seat.

“Don't drag your ass, then.” Beau applied eyeliner as she spoke, her eyes barely moving from the flipped-down mirror to glance over at him. “Dude! I told you to dress up,” she scowled, noticing right away that he wore the same clothes as always - a brown woolen coat with a scarf thrown over it. “Even Nott dressed up.” She gestured at the goblin girl, who wore her signature porcelain mask, along with a plain black shirt and black leggings.

“I don’t own any other clothes,” Caleb pointed out. “I don't think how _we_ dress will affect things with Yasha, though.”

Beau’s brown cheeks darkened, and she looked away, adjusting her _Mighty Nein_ shirt - “it's ironic, because there are only three of them,” she had explained when Caleb had criticized the band name - as she did so. She was fully decked out, between the shirt, a leather jacket, and ripped black jeans. She had even swapped out her regular piercings for black versions. “Fjord and Jester are already on their way,” she continued, apparently electing to ignore Caleb's comment.

Caleb was already wishing he had brought Frumpkin. The cat had been a real bitch to register as an emotional support animal, but he had been too worried about it being trampled or overwhelmed by all the noise to bring it.

Which meant he would almost definitely get overwhelmed, but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

It was just a concert, anyway, and a small one at that - _The Mighty Nein_ was a local group, and two of the three members went to the same college as Caleb and the rest of his friends. That was how he'd been dragged along; Yasha, one of said members, had invited Beau, since they shared a few classes. And now Beau was employing the rest of her friends as wingmen. And wingwomen. Wingpeople.

Caleb liked music, anyway. He had to remind himself of that fact at times like this, but he really did. It was the concert itself that was the problem - too much noise, too many people, too much contact. Were it not for Beau's crush, he would be curled up in his bed right now with a book, listening to the exact same band from the peace and comfort of his own apartment.

Beau glanced over at him as she put the eyeliner away and started to drive. “You'll be okay, right?” She asked in a rare moment of sincerity.

“ _Ja_ , I'll be fine,” Caleb reassured her, leaving off the _I hope_.

“Good. 'Cause you're not allowed to die before I kill you.” Beau said, and the moment was gone.

The drive was only a short buzz from Caleb and Nott's apartment complex - not enough to even bother plugging the aux cord into Beau's phone. Fjord and Jester were standing in front of a small concert venue when the three pulled up, the half-orc and tiefling both dressed similarly to how Beau and Nott were. Caleb felt even more underdressed than he had before looking at them.

“Caleb! Nott! Beau! You guys took _so long_ ,” Jester started the moment they exited the pick-up. “Fjord and I have been waiting here for _hours_. Look at how many dicks I drew while we were waiting for you,” she brandished the small sketchbook she always carried around, revealing that she had managed to fill about a page and a half with various phallic shapes.

“We've been here for five minutes. She's just very fast,” Fjord cut in.

“You still kept us waiting!” Jester complained, though the twinkle in her eye told Caleb she wasn't _really_ mad. “Oh, Beau! Do you have our tickets? You have them, right?” She asked, turning back to the taller woman.

“No.” Beau deadpanned as she pulled out the tickets, passing them out to each person. “We should go in now, they start soon,” she added as she glanced at her phone. With that, she turned to stride inside of the somewhat small building, flashing her ticket at the person by the door without stopping. The other four followed, making sure to actually _show_ their tickets before heading in.

The interior was more crowded than Caleb had expected it to be, considering the fact that it was a local college band playing tonight. He could already feel his heart starting to pound as he pushed his way through, and relief coursed through him when a small hand linked into his own and he looked down to see Nott gazing back up at him.

Caleb could see Beau up ahead, recklessly shoving her way to the stage, no doubt hoping to get a better view of Yasha. Fjord and Jester were close behind Beau, trailing in her wake.

The band was already on the relatively small podium, setting up the last of their equipment. All three members were up there; Yasha was the only one Caleb knew by name, a tall, muscular woman with long dark hair that faded into white towards the end. The other two were a rather brightly dressed lavender tiefling that Caleb shared a few classes with - he didn't know his name, just that he was _very_ loud and very handsome and often interrupted class - and a dwarven… girl? Woman? She looked young, but had a mature voice, as Caleb had heard in the few recordings he had listened to.

The lights around Caleb dimmed, replaced by brighter lights on the stage. The tiefling shouted something into the microphone, but through all the cheering, he couldn't make out what it was.

And then the music started.

_Focus on the music_ , Caleb told himself, closing his eyes and taking slow, deep breaths. And for a while, it worked. He was able to tune out, ignore the other bodies pressing against him, ignore the fact that he must look weird standing there like that. The dwarf was singing words he could barely understand, but it sounded good, and every now and then he heard Yasha and the tiefling kick in with the chorus. Both played guitars, as well - bass or not, he couldn't tell from here, and he wasn't familiar enough with the sounds to distinguish them.

He wasn't sure when it stopped working.

He was fine, he was fine, and then he wasn't. Something about it - the heat, the bodies pressed against his own, the noise - gave him this twisting, choking feeling in his chest, and he had to leave, he had to _escape_.

“I'll be right back,” Caleb managed to choke out to Nott, who didn't appear to hear him or notice as he tugged his hand out of her grasp and began squirming his way through the crowd towards the bathroom, which was marked by a neon blue sign that proclaimed _MEN_.

Blissfully, the walls and door blocked some of the noise. It was a fairly small bathroom, lined with maybe five stalls and _absolutely filthy_. He couldn't find it in him to care, though. His heart was pounding and he could barely breathe and he was about to start hyperventilating and his vision was starting to swim and-

-he wasn't sure how long it had been, but the door creaked open behind him. All he managed to register was a flash of purple skin and obnoxiously bright clothes whose colors seemed to swarm his vision. _At least I am not the only one dressed wrong for this_ , was the only thing he was able to think.

“Shit, are you alright?” Hands hovered above his shoulders, seeming unsure where exactly they should go.

“ _J-ja_ , I just…” was all Caleb managed to wheeze out.

“Here. Come here.” Gentle hands guided him into the one of the stalls, and he heard a clatter as the toilet seat’s lid was pushed down. “Sit here.” He was vaguely aware as he sat down on the lid. “I want you to put your head between your knees and take deep breaths, okay? Just keep breathing.” The voice was soft and controlled, with a hint of an accent.

That voice. Caleb should know that voice from somewhere, but it was all he could manage to do as he was told and focus on breathing _in, one, two, three, four, out, one two, three, four_.

“I'm going to take your scarf off so you can breathe a little easier, is that okay?”

He nodded, and felt the material lift from around his neck. He saw long nails, painted black.

“It's a little hot in here, so I'm going to take your coat off-” he shook his head as the hands moved towards the buttons, and there was a small hesitation before, “okay, that's fine. Just keep breathing.”

They continued like this for a while, that gentle voice filtering through to him, until Caleb's breath steadied and he looked up, almost being sent into another panic attack as he registered the sight of who, in this moment, appeared to be the most beautiful man - or rather, tiefling - alive.

Said tiefling squatted down in front of him so that they were eye level, his hands resting on Caleb's - the realization of the touch made Caleb's heartbeat quicken once more, though thankfully, nowhere the same rate it had been. A peacock tattoo trailed down the tiefling's cheek, disappearing under the neck of his shirt. And he wore even more jewelry than Jester did, dangling from his horns, his ears, his fingers.

“You're- you're, uh…”

“Drop-dead gorgeous?” The tiefling flashed him a grin, and Caleb saw fangs and, when he spoke, the flash of a tongue piercing. “I get that a lot.”

“I was going to say you're in that band.”

“So you don't think I'm drop-dead gorgeous?” The tiefling teased, and Caleb thought his heart might give out. “But yes, I am. And you're the guy who brings his cat to class.”

“Caleb.”

Another grin. “Nice to meet you, Caleb. I'm Molly.”

“Nice to meet you. And I'm… sorry about this. Your music is very good, really. I just do not do well in crowds.”

Molly waved one hand dismissively. “Don't worry about it. It happens. Do you need a ride home, though?” He added, fixing Caleb with a more serious look.

“No, my friends will give me a ride. I just need to find them.” As Caleb spoke, there was a faint buzz in his pocket, and he pulled out his phone. 32 messages. Shit.

“Here, give me that real quick.” Caleb pressed the phone into Molly's hand without thinking, and Molly swiped up before going, “shite. Password?” and handing it back to him.

Caleb actually had to stifle a laugh as he keyed in the four digits and held it out once more. Molly accepted the phone and typed something in - he shielded the screen when Caleb tried to peek - before handing it back. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

Caleb couldn't understand why Molly was going through all this trouble, but he nodded. “I will.”

“Great.” Molly straightened and held out his hand, helping Caleb up. Then he reached behind Caleb and picked up the scarf he had set on top of the toilet, wrapping it somewhat sloppily around Caleb's neck in a few swift motions. “Now, let's go find your friends.”

As they stepped out of the bathroom, Caleb scrolled through his missed messages, all of them from his friends - some personal messages, some through their group chat, all asking where the hell he was and if he was alright (as well as a few death threats from Beau, followed by instant apologies and a promise to be nice when he came back). It made his chest feel warm to think of how they somehow cared so much about him, but he also felt guilty for worrying them like that.

The lights were back on in the venue, and thankfully, it was far less crowded. There were a few people scattered about, but Caleb instantly spotted his small group of friends. They stood together in a clump in the middle of the room, all with worried expressions on their face that changed to relief when they turned to spot Caleb.

Caleb staggered back as Nott crashed into him, hugging him tightly, and he heard Molly stifle a chuckle. “Sorry. I did not mean to worry all of you,” he stated, running one hand through Nott's hair as he spoke.

“You should've just told us you were hooking up with the bassist in the bathroom.” Beau stated, looking annoyed now that the initial panic was over.

“I- I wasn't- we were not-” Caleb stammered and stumbled over his words, and he could feel his face and the tips of his ears flushing red. “I had a panic attack, and he helped me through it,” he managed to get out.

After a lot of apologizing from Caleb, concerned questions from his friends to Molly, and more than a few thank you's - under which Molly preened - Molly placed a hand on his shoulder. “I'll let you guys go now. Don't forget to text me later, Caleb.”

With that, he jogged off towards the stage, where Yasha and the dwarf appeared to be waiting for him.

Before Caleb could be drilled with questions, he hurriedly asked, “how did it go with Yasha?”

Beau's eyes immediately lit up. “It was great! _She's_ great! She gave me her number.” She proudly held out a small slip of paper with a sequence of numbers written on it in a fancy script. “But you're not getting out of this,” she warned.

“Yes! You have to tell us _everything_!” Jester insisted. “Like when are you two going to have sex and-”

“It-it’s not like that!” Caleb looked away, hoping none of them noticed that the shade of red on his face was definitely increasing. “He just wanted to make sure I got home safe, that's all.”

Still, though, as they walked to the car - after prying Nott off of him - Caleb recounted the story. “I'm sorry, Caleb. I didn't even notice you leave,” Nott admitted as the group separated for the night, Fjord and Jester heading to their own car.

“It is fine. You were here to have fun, _ja_? Not to focus on me.” Caleb responded as Nott hopped into the pick-up, squeezing in beside her.

“But still, I should've-”

“Nott,” Caleb interrupted, gently squeezing the goblin girl's shoulder. “It's fine, really. I am okay and you are okay, and that's what counts.”

“I'm okay, too. Just so you know.” Beau said.

“You are okay, too.” Caleb agreed.

The moment he entered his apartment, Caleb beelined towards his room and flopped down onto his bed, tossing his phone to the side. He held his arms out as a familiar orange tabby trotted after him and leaped up, immediately nuzzling against him. “ _Ich liebe dich,_ Frumpkin,” he mumbled as he pulled the cat close, shoving his face into its fur.

He stayed that way until his phone buzzed. Letting out a soft groan, he looked up, fumbling for it with one hand. Eventually he found it, and lifted it to see a text from Beau.

_Beau: Don't forget to text Molly_ (;P emoji)

Caleb rolled his eyes, tapping out a quick _I hate you._ and hitting send. Then he decided that he probably _should_ text Molly before he fell asleep. He scrolled through his contact list, horror and amusement hitting him at once as he saw _Molly_ (peach emoji). So _that_ was what he hadn't wanted Caleb to see.

_Caleb: I'm home._

_Caleb: And thank you. For before._

He had barely set his phone down when it buzzed again.

_Molly_ (peach emoji) _: glad to hear it!_

_Molly_ (peach emoji): _you should get some rest now._

_Molly_ (peach emoji): _and it was no problem, really._

There was a long gap, the three typing dots shifting for what seemed like ages, before another message came through.

_Molly_ (peach emoji): _i used to have panic attacks a lot, so i know how it feels._

Huh. That wasn't something Caleb had expected. The tiefling had seemed so confident before, and he definitely didn't seem to mind being the center of attention. Then again, he had said _used to_. Maybe something had changed. Either way, he didn't really want to pry.

_Caleb: You're probably right. Good night._

_Caleb: I hope you know I'm going to change your contact name._

_Molly_ (peach emoji) _:_ _:(_

_Molly_ (peach emoji) _: good night, caleb. sleep well._

_Caleb: You too._

Caleb fell asleep shortly after, his phone still gripped in his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nott gets her first estrogen injection and Molly invites himself over for a movie day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont really know much about how hrt goes for trans girls, so i based it on how i know it goes for t ! which im unfortunately not on yet but thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth
> 
> im not sure i like how this chapter turned out to be completely honest but im already partially through the next one so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ im not sure when the next update will be, since i still have to pack for germany and then. Leave for germany

The first thing Caleb noticed when he woke up was that a blanket had been pulled over him. He let out a soft groan, sitting up and running one hand through his perpetually messy red hair. His phone had also apparently been plugged in sometime during the night - it now sat on his dresser. Frumpkin appeared to have left him already, probably slinking its way into the kitchen to beg for food.

When he stumbled his way into the main room, Nott was already in there, laying out a few dresses over their coffee table. She jumped when he came in. “Caleb, there you are! Help me choose a dress, please.”

“Why did you not wake me?” Caleb asked as he walked over to study the dresses more carefully. Frumpkin bounded over from their small kitchen as he did, and he absently reached down to stroke the cat. “I don't want to miss your appointment.”

Nott looked away, and it hit him that she had let him sleep in on purpose. “ _Nott_ ,” he started, exasperated. “This is your first estrogen injection. I would not miss it for the world. Here, this one suits you the most.” He held up a soft, simple pink sundress. He recognized it as one Jester had given Nott shortly after the goblin girl had come out.

“I know you wouldn't _want_ to,” Nott said quietly as she accepted the dress, “but you had a very rough day yesterday and I know how much you hate hospitals. Beau said she would keep you updated on Snapchat, if that helps.”

It was, admittedly, a little bit of a relief that Beau was going with Nott. She knew the doctor - she had recommended him, actually, having seen him herself when _she_ had started HRT. But it did sting a little bit that she was being chosen over Caleb, even if Nott did it because she had his best interests at heart.

“Fine,” Caleb conceded, leaning down to press a small kiss onto the top of her forehead. As guilty as he felt about it, there was a small amount of relief that he wouldn't have to set foot into another hospital for a while longer. “But Beau better keep me updated,” he warned.

“I'll hold her to it.” Nott promised.

“Good. And thank you for the blanket,” he added as he moved into the kitchen and began to rummage around in the pantry for the cat food. “And plugging in my phone.” With some effort, he managed to pull out the oversized bag. Frumpkin dancing around his feet didn't help, causing him to stumble slightly in his attempt to avoid stepping on the cat. “Scoot, _Katzchen_ ,” he mumbled softly as he nudged the cat out of the way of the food dish with his foot.

“You're welcome,” Nott chimed, a hint of relief in her voice - Caleb had a feeling he hadn't put up as much of a fight as she had expected. “I figured you would forget again.”

“You know me very well.” Caleb’s voice rose over the metallic rattle of food clattering into the dish. Frumpkin was very enthusiastic about shoving its face into the bowl the moment Caleb released it. From the way the tabby acted, you would think he starved the poor thing. In reality, Caleb probably took better care of it than he took of himself.

“I’m going to change and then meet Beau outside,” Nott informed him. “Make sure you eat, too. Your health is just as important as Frumpkin’s is, you know.”

Caleb bit back an _is it, though?_ and instead said, “I will.”

“At least two meals.”

“ _I will._ ” He attempted to sound annoyed, but more than anything, he was thankful. He had no idea what he had done to deserve Nott.

“Just checking,” Nott hummed, before he sweeping into her room to change.

A couple minutes passed before Nott stepped back out, looking abashed - she usually covered up completely. “You look beautiful, Nott,” Caleb commented softly, and she smiled back up at him.

“Thank you.” Then there was a sharp rap at the door, and both jumped. Nott released a sigh. “Sounds like Beau is here. Wish me luck!”

“Good luck,” Caleb called after her, watching the goblin girl skip off with a fond smile.

Caleb was in the process of microwaving himself a hot pocket - it wasn't even noon, but he didn't have the energy for anything else - when his phone buzzed on the countertop. He was surprised to see that it was a text from Molly. To be completely honest, he hadn't expected the tiefling to contact him at all once last night was over.

 _Molly_  (peach emoji) _: morning! feeling better?_

_Caleb: Yes, thank you._

Caleb hesitated for a moment before typing out a second message.

_Caleb: I'm bored, though. Nott has me under house arrest after last night. She thinks I need to rest more._

_Molly_  (peach emoji) _: i think so too_

 _Molly_  (peach emoji) _: maybe i can come over and entertain you though ;)_

Caleb's heart almost stuttered to a pause until he read the next message.

 _Molly_  (peach emoji) _: with movies, of course. i can bring one or two, if you want. got any favorites?_

Alright, Caleb's heart _still_ stuttered to a pause after reading it. This definitely had not been what he'd expecting. Maybe a nod and a hello in class, but that was it. He wasn't very well-versed in societal conventions, but he didn't think inviting yourself over a day after meeting was very common.

Caleb erased his text asking _why_ at the last second.

_Caleb: I don't watch very many movies._

_Molly_  (peach emoji) _: lol nerd_

 _Molly_ (peach emoji) _: i can bring a couple different ones and you can choose one you think looks cool_

Caleb, again, had to wonder why Molly was going through all this effort. What could he possibly get out of it? He hesitated before he typed out the next message, hoping to the gods he wouldn't regret it.

_Caleb: Sounds good._

_Molly_ (peach emoji) _: great! already omw_

Caleb already saw an immediate flaw in this plan, but it took a couple moments for those typing dots to reappear.

 _Molly_ (peach emoji) _: fuck what's ur address_

Caleb chuckled to himself, before typing out the street name and apartment number and hitting _send_.

It wasn't long before there was a knock at the door. Caleb had just managed to scarf down his now-cold hot pocket and dart around the apartment a bit, attempting to tidy things up slightly. There wasn't much he could do about Nott's room - thanks to Nott's kleptomania and general hoarding habits, it was almost overflowing with a wide variety of (mostly stolen) goods - so he simply pulled the door shut and prayed Molly wouldn't peek inside.

He opened the door to be met with a certain obnoxiously dressed tiefling - Molly wore the same brightly colored jacket, this time with a loose crop top and scandalously short shorts. “You’re dressed… differently.” Caleb did his best to pretend he wasn't staring, focusing instead on the stack of movies Molly shoved into his arms. Now he realized he should've showered first, or at least changed out of the clothes he had passed out in.

“Indeed I am.” Molly's tailed flicked from side to side as he stepped inside. “I brought pretty much everything,” the tiefling said as be glanced around the apartment - Caleb inwardly winced as he realized just how shitty it must look to someone unaccustomed to it. “Action, comedy, action comedy-”

“You certainly have varied tastes,” Caleb commented drily, and Molly elbowed him gently.

“I wasn't done yet! Nice place you've got,” he commented suddenly, and Caleb was startled to realize that he couldn't find any sarcasm in Molly's voice. The tiefling listed off more genres, but Caleb found himself focusing more on the tone of Molly's voice, gradually drifting off until he felt a hand grip his shoulder. “So, which do you think sounds best?” Molly flashed him a smile.

“I don't know,” Caleb admitted. “Do you mind if I read the backs?”

“Be my guest.” Molly flopped down onto the couch where Nott had been earlier, clearly expecting Caleb to be a while. He sprawled out as Caleb skimmed over the movie summaries, humming softly. He tuned everything else out until Molly said, “come on! There's no way you're actually reading.”

“I speed-read.” Caleb shrugged, returning his gaze to the back of the movie he was on until Molly reached up, snatching it out of his hand.

“Fine.” Molly had a playful twinkle in his eye. “What did this one say?”

“A little chicken must convince his town that the sky is falling.”

“It's Chicken Little, not little chicken, but I'll give you that. How about this one?” He carefully pulled another movie from the stack.

“I did not have the chance to read that one yet- is that porn?”

“Sounds fake.” Molly flipped the front back towards him just to make sure that he had not, in fact, accidentally included porn in his selections. “ _The Spy Who Shagged Me_? Nah, it's a comedy. Probably a bit raunchy for you, though,” he admitted.

After a couple minutes of this sort of game - Molly giving Caleb a few seconds to read a back cover and then taking it away to see what the redhead had retained - they settled on _Kung Fu Panda_.

“Aren't you a little old for this?” Caleb asked as he placed the movie's disc in the DVD player. Jesus, when _was_ the last time he had watched a movie? Jester sometimes convinced the group to have a movie night, but typically, he sat down with them and read whatever book he had on hand while they watched.

“You're never too old for kids’ movies,” Molly didn't seem to realize how oxymoronic what he had just said was, shifting his legs and sitting up straight to make room for Caleb on the couch as the other man returned.

About the second Caleb sat down, Frumpkin bounded in and hopped up onto his lap. “That's the cat you always bring to class, isn't it?” Molly asked, and Caleb nodded. He immediately reached out, then hesitated. “Is it fine if I pet him?”

“ _Ja_ , go ahead.” Caleb lifted his hand to give Molly room to pet Frumpkin, watching with amusement - and a hint of a feeling he couldn’t name - as the tiefling's face lit up. He was noticeably gentle with the cat, and Frumpkin purred, tilting its chin up. “His name is Frumpkin,” he added.

Molly gently gripped Frumpkin's face between his hands, leaning in close. “Frumpkin, I hope you know I would kill and die for you without hesitation.” He let out a loud laugh as Frumpkin blinked slowly at him, and again, Caleb got that odd, warm feeling.

“You're very weird,” Caleb mumbled, half to himself, as he pressed _Play_ on the remote.

“It's part of my charm.” Molly grinned at him.

Molly talked through most of the movie, but Caleb found it hard to be annoyed, watching how the tiefling reacted to each scene and occasionally turned towards Caleb to make sure he was watching, too. Something about it seemed so _familiar_ \- he almost wished he could pause this moment and stay in it forever. Then he immediately wondered where the hell  _that_ thought had come from.

Towards the end of the movie, Molly had fallen silent, leaning forward and watching intently. His tail swished back and forth, and Frumpkin eyed it carefully, slowly crawling off of Caleb's lap. Caleb briefly considered warning him, but decided against it and instead pulled out his phone to subtly snap a picture - he should probably send out streaks  before Jester killed him for breaking theirs yet again - as Frumpkin lunged suddenly, grappling with Molly's tail and attempting to pin it down. Molly jumped, letting out a startled noise.

Caleb couldn't help but laugh as Molly glared at him, though his stern expression crumbled after a moment and he started laughing too, interrupted by a soft “ow!” as he realized Frumpkin was still nibbling on the spade-shaped tip of his tail. “You could've warned me,” he said, pouting slightly as he gently held Frumpkin back, making sure his tail was out of reach.

“And what fun would that be?” Caleb asked as he opened the snap Beau had sent him, since he already had the app open, anyways. He was a greeted with a picture of a nervous-looking Nott with a needle just above her arm - Caleb cringed seeing the needle, but tried his best to ignore it - captioned with _So proud of my girl!!!!_ and what Caleb thought had to be a million heart emojis. It was rare that Beau was so affectionate, but to be fair, he was beginning to tear up a little himself. Nott had waited for this for a long time.

“What's that?” Molly asked, leaning over his shoulder. He stiffened, feeling… _strange_ with Molly hovering so close to him. He wouldn't quite say uncomfortable - maybe he even liked it, he wasn't sure - but it was _different_.

“Nott had a… very important doctor's appointment today.” It was vague, but Caleb didn't really want to tell Molly Nott's personal business.

“Oh? I'm glad for her.” If Molly had any suspicions, he didn't voice them.

“Mhm,” Caleb hummed, before setting his phone down and turning to look at Molly - forgetting how close Molly's face already was to his own. He flushed a little, managing to stammer out, “so, uh, what did you have in mind after the movie?”

“We could-” Molly started, but broke off as he glanced at his phone. “Shite! I forgot Yasha and Toya wanted to rehearse before our gig tonight.” He patted Caleb on the shoulder. “I'll text you later?”

“Sounds good.” Caleb hadn't expected their time together to end so abruptly, but there wasn't much he could do about it. So why the hell was he so disappointed about it? “Have fun.”

“You should come to our rehearsals sometime, if you'd like,” Molly added as he stood, giving Frumpkin one last pat. “I know concerts are a little much for you, but our rehearsals are just us. No crowds.”

Everything about Molly perplexed Caleb, honestly.

“Why?” He asked. He couldn't help it - he  _had_ to know why Molly was taking time out of his day to hang out with someone like him. It wasn't like the tiefling was _obligated_ to. But why else would he?

Molly glanced back, a confused expression on his face. “Why our rehearsals are just us?”

Caleb looked away, running a hand through his hair - and catching several tangles in the process. “ _Nein_ … why you are inviting me, I mean. And why you came over today.”

Molly raised one eyebrow, then chuckled. “Because I want to get to know you. Is that really so hard to believe?” Before Caleb could answer, he added, “I really do have to get going, though. See you! And feel free to drop by sometime.” With that, he was breezing out the door, leaving Caleb twice as confused as before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Caleb avoids emotions like the plague (while they're all anyone else wants to talk about).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ended up like. an entire 1k longer than i meant it to be kfdgfjd consider it a hiatus present ig
> 
> also, sorry if it seems kind of disjointed ! i had to do some last minute edits bc i blanked on some important stuff

After Molly left, Caleb found that he wasn't really sure what to do with himself. Nott's appointment had no doubt ended or was close to it, but the hospital was a fair distance away and, considering the time, she and Beau probably were going to stop somewhere to eat.

He thought about making himself a small, admittedly late lunch - to satisfy Nott's two meals rule - but decided he'd just wait for dinner. He stretched out across the couch, giving Frumpkin a quick scratch under the chin to make up for shifting the cat without warning, and flicked the TV to cable.

That was how he ended up watching some shitty rom-com for the next hour or so.

Gods, Caleb hated feeling emotions. What was he, fourteen? He could have sworn he felt his heart physically ache as he watched the happy couple, found himself wishing he had something like that. It was his own fault he didn't, really. He didn't know how to talk to other people, he didn't even try. He just shut himself away and focused on his studies. It was a miracle he even had _friends_.

Maybe it was better this way. It wasn't like he _deserved_ love. Or even friends, really. Maybe he should just-

He looked up at Frumpkin as the cat let out a mewl, perhaps sensing his distress, and pawed at his face. He let out a soft laugh, kissing it on the forehead. “ _Danke_ ,” he mumbled. He fumbled for the remote, clicking off the TV. It took a couple seconds to convince Frumpkin to hop off of his lap, but once that was accomplished he stood and started to look for a book to read. It wasn't hard to find books in general in the apartment, scattered in different places based on wherever he had been reading them last, but it took him a few minutes to find one he hadn't already finished.

What felt like moments later, Caleb felt a rough hand grip his shoulder. He looked up to see Beau. “You didn't hear me when I said your name,” she explained, letting go.

“Sorry.” Caleb shut the book and set it to the side, immediately standing when he saw Nott. “How did it go?”

“I was so nervous,” Nott admitted. “But it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be!” She added, grinning up at Caleb, and he patted her shoulder.

“That's very good.”

Beau shifted where she stood, seeming to decide whether or not to interrupt, before saying, “well, I'm gonna head out now.” Both Caleb and Nott looked up to say goodbye, and as she turned to leave she said, “by the way, Caleb, I'm taking you to the library after classes tomorrow.”

“You hate going to the library with me.” And to be honest, Beau wasn't really a great person to go with - she mostly sat around and sighed a lot until Caleb said she could leave if she wanted to, at which point she'd bolt and just come back when he was ready to go back home.

“Yeah, but I feel bad about last night.”

“Beau, really, it is fine-”

“Shut up and let me be nice to you.”

Caleb had to chuckle at that. “Fine. Thank you.”

The rest of the day was surprisingly peaceful. Caleb had originally intended on cooking Nott a special meal to celebrate - although he honestly had no idea what that would be - but after being reminded of how much he hated cooking, they decided on pizza. And so Nott ordered the pizza, while he settled back down on the couch to continue his book.

Occasionally, his phone buzzed, and for some reason, his heart leapt into his throat at the idea of it being Molly texting him. But it was just the group chat, with Beau, Fjord, and Jester all apologizing for not being there to celebrate with them. Beau and Jester had work - this reminded Caleb, unfortunately, of how he really should get another job soon. He had been fired from his old job not long ago for, basically, his lack of social skills - and Fjord had… actually, Caleb had no idea what Fjord was doing. The half-orc never really gave reasons for his absences.

The next morning, it took just about everything Caleb had to drag himself out of bed. He groaned, rolling over and snoozing his alarm, and was about to snuggle back into his blankets when he felt a familiar weight on his bed. “ _Geh weg_ , Frumpkin,” he mumbled sleepily, but Frumpkin climbed up onto him and began licking his cheek. He let out another groan, pushing the cat away, but it only returned.

“You are lucky I love you,” he grumbled, kissing Frumpkin's forehead before sitting up. He probably _should_ get dressed this time around - he'd been wearing the same clothes for what? Two days now? Of course, he didn't really look any different, considering he always wore his coat and his pants all looked the same, but it felt nice to put on something cleaner.

A shower was next on the list, but just considering it seemed to drain all the energy from him. Tonight. He'd shower tonight, he promised himself.

Nott appeared to have already left - she had earlier classes than his - but she had left him a tinfoil-wrapped plate of eggs, and the coffee machine was still on for him. As he started to prepare his coffee (gods knew he needed it) his phone buzzed. A glance revealed that it was Fjord letting him know that he was on the way.

Fuck. A car. Caleb still needed a car, too. Most of the time one of his friends was able to give him a lift, but being late to work more than a few times from having to take public transportation definitely hadn't helped him keep his job. It certainly hadn't helped his anxiety, either. Nothing like the fear of being mugged to keep you awake in the morning.

It was painfully bright out when he stepped outside, ready with his bag and Frumpkin cradled in his arms. Fjord pulled up shortly after and, with some difficulty, Caleb managed to open the side door and climb inside. Jester sat in the passenger seat, chattering away to Fjord, but turned back when Caleb walked in. “Caleb! Caleb, look at what I drew!” she started before he could even say hello, shoving her sketchbook in his direction.

Once Caleb had buckled and was able to set Frumpkin down on his lap, he accepted the sketchbook, flipping to the indicated page to see several sketches of the concert - and a few dicks, of course. His heart leapt into his throat, though, as he saw some...  _intimate_ , to say the least, drawings of him and Molly.

"Um, Jester?"

" _Yes_?" Jester dragged out the syllables, letting him know she absolutely knew what he was about to ask.

"These are, ah, very impressive, but... what are these ones of Mollymauk and I?"

The mischievous gleam in Jester's eye told Caleb he should have kept his mouth shut. The blue tiefling was practically climbing over the seat as she twisted to talk to him. " _Well_ , you _lied_ and said you and Molly _weren't_ banging in the bathroom when really you _were_ banging in the bathroom and so I-"

"What makes you think we were... ba-banging in the bathroom?" Caleb was sure he looked like a goddamn tomato right about now.

"You were hanging out with Molly yesterday!" Shit, Caleb hadn't thought about it when he had sent out those snap streaks. "In fact, I bet you banged  _again_ yesterday! Ooh, I bet you did it on the couch-"

"We did not bang at any time!" Caleb protested again. "I was telling the truth at the concert, and yesterday he only came to check on me."

Jester's eyes were narrowed, and she opened her mouth to continue her onslaught, until Fjord took a hand off of the wheel to place it on her shoulder. "Leave Caleb alone, Jester." Caleb was about thank him until he saw the look in Fjord's eyes. "He's allowed to be private about his sex life if he wants to be."

The rest of the drive was no different than any other. Fjord turned on the radio, and Jester sang along to all the songs that came on. She even managed to drag a few songs out of Fjord - then laughed at how off-key he was, although she wasn't much better. Caleb honestly found himself enjoying listening to their playful bickering. As per usual, though, he adamantly refused when Fjord and Jester tried to convince him to sing.

The campus was already crawling with students when they arrived. Caleb said goodbye to Fjord and Jester - whose building was on the other side of the large college - before making his way to his own class, hugging Frumpkin slightly closer to his chest as his heart began to quicken just at the idea of being around so many people. He got a few side glances, but for the most part, people were used to seeing him and Frumpkin around. He was generally known as 'the cat guy’, as he had heard whispers of more than once, but it was better than not having Frumpkin with him.

His own lecture hall already had quite a few people in it, Molly standing out the most out of all of them - at the moment, he was chatting animatedly to the person in the elevated row of desks behind him, who looked like they'd prefer to be almost anywhere else. And as Caleb looked closer, he saw that beneath the ostentatious coat the tiefling wore a t-shirt that declared _Baby Slut_ in pink text. Oh gods.

Caleb briefly wondered if he should sit in the front row like he normally did or by Molly, who was somewhat in the center, but his question was answered when Molly turned and caught sight of him, not hesitating to let out a loud shout of “Caleb!” and wave at him. The person he had been talking to glanced over, appearing very relieved not to be the center of his attention anymore.

Molly actually seemed _happy_ to see Caleb, grinning at him as he made his way towards the row of desks. "Who was that you were talking to?" Caleb asked as he set his bag down on the floor, before carefully sitting so as not to shift Frumpkin too much.

Molly shrugged. "Don't know." He reached towards the cat, and after a soft “go ahead,” from Caleb, began to stroke it.

Caleb didn't know what he had expected - he couldn't imagine  _ever_ striking up conversation with a stranger, but for Molly, it didn't really seem that out of the ordinary. “I see. Oh, you had your gig last night, _ja_? How did it go?” He asked, and Molly looked strangely pleased.

“You remembered! It went great!” The tiefling's tail swished back and forth until he caught Frumpkin eyeing it, at which he moved his tail out of sight while Caleb carefully restrained the cat. “We had a little trouble with one of the amps, but we got it working quickly, and…”

Molly chattered on until class officially started, when Caleb elbowed him and told him to pay attention. He looked amused, but made a lip-zipping motion before turning to face the front of the classroom.

Caleb caught Molly staring at him more than once, though. He tried his best to focus on scrawling down notes, but whenever he looked up, the tiefling's eyes were blatantly on him.

“What?” He finally asked, and Molly's lips twitched into a smile.

“Nothing. You're just very distracting.”

“I can move, if you would like.”

“Oh, no. Definitely don't do that. I'll manage, I just may need your notes.”

Caleb rolled his eyes. “Was that all this was? A ploy to get my notes?” His phone buzzed - an email alert.

“Maybe so,” Molly chuckled, though he lost his smile as Caleb glanced down at his phone and frowned. “Something wrong?”

Caleb shook his head as he closed the rejection email, stroking Frumpkin on his lap. “Nothing. Job hunting is just… hard.” Although he hadn't expected to really get the job - his grades may have been good, but his disheveled appearance and lack of social skills didn't exactly appeal to many employers - it still stung.

Molly looked thoughtful for a moment. “You know, I work at the mall a mile or two from here. A bookstore close to my store is hiring, I hear.” He shrugged. “I don't know if that appeals to you, but I saw all those books lying around your apartment?”

Huh. Molly was more observant than Caleb had thought. Not that the books were really _hidden_ , but still. It was touching, to be honest.

“That would be great, actually.” Again Molly gave Caleb one of those smiles that made that warm, odd feeling come flooding back into him.

“Wonderful! I can show you the store after class, if you'd like?”

Wow. Caleb couldn't remember the last time he'd had so many plans that they conflicted with one another. “Actually, I was going to go to the library with Beau. But would tomorrow work?”

“Tomorrow works!” Molly grinned at him once more, before saying, “I'll let you get back to your notes now.”

Caleb was simultaneously buzzing and filled with dread. On the one hand, he felt hopeful for once - even if they were small things, so many good things were going on - but at the same time there was the niggling fear that these good things wouldn't _last_. Beau would suddenly be too busy to take him to the library, or he wouldn't get the job at the bookstore, or…

A purr from Frumpkin brought him back to the present, and he let out a sigh as he ruffled the cat's fur. “ _Ich liebe dich_ ,” he mumbled out of habit, and Molly glanced over at him with an amused expression.

“You love dick?”

Caleb, predictably, flushed a bright red. “ _D-dich_. You.” He tried to explain.

“That's a bit rude, don't you think?” Molly flashed him a devilish grin. “I'm flattered that you love me, though.”

This, of course, made Caleb even more of a stuttering mess, and Molly laughed, placing a hand on his arm. “You can relax. I know what you meant.”

“Right. Of-of course.” Caleb turned back to his notes, his cheeks burning, and pretended he couldn't see Molly gazing at him, resting his chin on his hand and blatantly ignoring the lecture. Molly was disruptive enough the lecturer almost never bothered calling him out at this point, but it still set Caleb on edge to think about being singled out.

Caleb was still nervous-excited as class ended, with Molly touching his arm once more and reminding him of their plans tomorrow before heading off, presumably, to whatever class he had next. The rest of the day passed slowly, even for Caleb, who normally _enjoyed_ his classes. They could be a _little_ slow, maybe - with his photographic memory and speed-reading abilities, he usually ended up being ahead of everyone else - but it was nothing compared to how the day crawled by as he waited to go to the library.

At least, the library was what he _told_ himself he was excited for. Not tomorrow. Definitely not at the idea of being with Molly after class-

-it occurred to him, suddenly, that if he actually _got_ the job, he'd be spending a lot more time around Molly, since they'd be working in the same mall. He wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse. Molly was definitely kind and admittedly easy to talk to, but he was just so hard to keep up with, and Caleb still wasn't sure whether or not he liked the strange fluttering feeling he got whenever the tiefling was around. It’d make it hard to focus on his job, that was for sure.

Finally, _finally_ , his last class of the day ended, and he waited with an air of impatience for Beau to pull up in the student parking lot. It was uncomfortably warm out, and he loosened his scarf around his neck, hoping to the gods Beau wouldn't take too long. He'd rather pass out than have to take his coat off.

Luckily, it wasn't too long before Beau pulled up - taking up several parking spaces by parking horizontally - with a honk of her horn and a shout of “get in, loser!”

Caleb rolled his eyes as he climbed into the passenger side, setting his bag down in the middle seat, since Nott wasn't there this time. Frumpkin, as per usual, was in his lap, and Beau reached over to scratch between its ears before starting to drive. She tossed him her phone. “Plug this in for me.”

As Caleb plugged the aux cord into the phone, the device buzzed. “You have a text from Yasha.”

“What? Give it here!” She held her hand out, her eyes still on the road.

“You're driving,” Caleb pointed out, and she rolled her eyes before pulling the car over on the side of the road. Thankfully, it was empty at this time of day.

“Happy?”

“That was very gay,” he remarked as he handed her the phone.

“Thanks. It's the lesbian.” She appeared to only be half paying attention as she read whatever Yasha had sent her, a strangely adoring expression on her face. Then she typed out a reply before opening her music library and turning on, predictably, a _Mighty Nein_ song - one that Caleb heard immediately had vocals primarily by Yasha this time around.

“Wow.”

“Don't be a lesbophobe, Caleb.”

“I didn't say anything.”

“Keep it that way.”

Caleb found it almost relaxing, listening to Beau wail along to the song - which meant something must _really_ be wrong, because her voice was absolutely horrid. She either didn't know or didn't care, and with her, it really could be either one. Gods, he wished he had her confidence. She didn't care what anyone thought of her, and when she wanted something, she _got_ it.

“Since you're staring at me so hard, I'd like to reiterate that I'm a lesbian.” Beau pointed out, and Caleb realized with a start that he _had_ been staring.

“And I'm gay. I was just… thinking.”

Beau let out a snort. “You really shouldn't think so much. I'd have a fucking migraine if I thought half as much as you did.”

“It shows.”

Beau was parking as he spoke, and Caleb was quick to climb out of the truck and hold Frumpkin out in front of him as a shield.

“That's low, Caleb.” Beau glared at him as she exited the truck, but thankfully, did not attempt to hurt him.

Caleb got a few waves and hellos as he entered - most of the staff were familiar with him, since the library was basically his home away from home at this point - but barely noticed, already beelining for the new releases. He set Frumpkin down on the floor, and it rubbed against his ankles as he began pulling books off of the shelf to skim them.

Beau came up beside him, leaning on the bookshelf. He didn't think much of it until she said, “Molly came over yesterday, didn't he?”

Oh boy.

“For a little bit.” Gods, Caleb had fucked up sending out those streaks. “Nothing happened. We just watched a movie.”

“Yasha says he's into you. Apparently he never shuts up about you.”

Caleb almost hit his head on the bookshelf. “Wh-what?” Gods, he wished- and he immediately reprimanded himself for that thought. He didn't wish _anything_. “ _Nein_ , she must be mistaken.”

“Mhm. And why'd he come over?”

“He said that he wanted to get to know me better.” Caleb's face was purposely buried very deep in the book he was skimming.

“You know that's code for _I wanna bang_ , right?” Although he purposely wasn't looking at her, he could perfectly envision her annoyed expression.

“He did not make a move on me.” Caleb's face was going to melt if it got any hotter.

“Uh-huh. So, when are you guys hanging out again?”

“Tomorrow.” Caleb answered before he thought about it, and immediately regretted it. He could _feel_ the smug aura radiating off of Beau. “But it is not what you think. He's going to try to help me get a job.”

“So Molly's your sugar daddy now.”

Caleb choked on air, and it was several seconds before he could answer coherently. “It's really not like that. He's just _helping_ me.”

There was a long pause before Beau spoke again, amusement in her tone. “Caleb, I know you're smart, but you're so _fucking dumb_ sometimes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you were wondering. the baby slut shirt is from an episode of unbreakable kimmy schmidt bc i decided molly HAD to wear it but i had no motivation to draw
> 
> edit: this is definitely the last update before hiatus ! ive decided not to bring my laptop since i wont be using it much anyway and its just more of a hassle in security, and uploading is a huge pain on mobile. if anyone needs / wants to contact me, my tumblr is [mlmbastard](http://mlmbastard.tumblr.com/) ! feel free to hmu abt critical role or literally anything else, altho im a couple episodes behind still


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb has a minor crisis and goes to the mall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off, before anything - the tags have been updated, but tw in this chapter & the next for mentions / implications of past self harm and sexual abuse. none of it is graphic, but please take care if those things trigger you.
> 
> and now, im officially off hiatus ! i finally caught up and wow i cant believe critical role only has 24 episodes... no more than that... BUT im releasing this because i feel like we all need fluffy shit in our lives right now. im not entirely sure of how i feel about this chapter but i already have like. almost the entire rest of the fic written so i didnt want to change too much. more about fic plans & general life chatter in the end notes !

Caleb was _tired_ when he got home. It was barely seven - Beau had pulled the plug on the library after about three hours - but that didn't stop him from flopping down onto the couch, too exhausted to bother with his bed.

Frumpkin had hopped down from his arms when he came in, and now bound into the kitchen, where Nott was. The goblin girl was fiddling with something on the stovetop, but glanced over when Caleb came in. “Long day?”

“ _Sehr_ ,” Caleb mumbled into the arm of the couch. “Lots of… emotion talk.”

Although he couldn't see, he had the feeling Nott had one eyebrow raised. “Did something happen?”

Caleb waved one hand in her direction. “Beau and Jester and Fjord all seem to think I have feelings for Molly- ah, the tiefling we met at the concert. Or that he has feelings for me.”

“And do you?”

“Huh?”

“Do you have feelings for him?” Nott sounded almost… hurt? “You can tell me if you do, you know. I wish you had told me sooner, though.” From the clattering noises, it sounded like she had turned back to whatever she was doing.

“I… _Scheiße_ , Nott, I don't know.” Caleb let out a groan. “I feel… different, around him. But it’s just _different_. I don't know if it is good or bad or…” he waved his hand. “I hardly know the man, anyway.”

Nott let out a “hm,” before setting something down on the coffee table in front of Caleb. He opened his eyes to see a bowl full of macaroni and cheese, with bits of hot dog cut up and mixed in.

“I'll eat later,” he mumbled, and Nott gave him a concerned look.

“You should eat now. You'll feel better. Especially since you skipped lunch.” She stated as she sat down on their small kitchen’s countertop - which took her a couple moments of attempting to heft herself up, due to her small stature.

“You don't know that I skipped lunch.”

“What'd you eat?”

Caleb sighed. “So I skipped lunch. But-”

“Caleb, please. You know you only get more tired when you don't eat.”

“If you insist, _Mutter_.” With some amount of effort - his limbs felt like they were made of lead - he sat up to eat from the bowl that had been left for him, slowly but surely. It was good, like always. Nott wasn't the best of chefs, but it was hard to screw up macaroni and cheese.

“How was class today?” He asked as he ate.

Nott shrugged. “It was class. I…” she went on about things that had happened - some other student had made fun of her appearance, so she had stolen her-

“Her engagement ring, Nott?” Caleb choked on his macaroni and cheese.

Nott had the decency to look abashed. “I-I tried not to! And I did very well! But then she was saying all those things and I…” she shrugged helplessly. “You're not going to make me return it, are you?”

“I…” Fuck. What the hell was Caleb supposed to say? Nott returning it by hand would cause _a lot_ of trouble - he had heard a lot about this devil of a woman, and if anything he'd heard was true, there was no doubt she'd take this chance to report Nott to the school. And what if she got expelled? What the hell would they do then? “No.” He finally decided. “We will have to pawn it.” Maybe they'd even get a fair amount of money for it. They'd have to be careful with their story, though. Engagement rings weren't exactly something pawned daily. “ _I_ will have to pawn it,” he corrected himself after a moment. He and Nott both knew how she got in stores, especially when she was already stressed.

Nott gave him a somewhat disappointed look, but didn't bother arguing - they had been through this plenty of times before. “Thank you, Caleb. I'm sorry for causing all of this trouble.”

“You have gotten me out of trouble plenty of times before,” Caleb reminded her, taking another bite of his mac and cheese. “Everything will be fine. I can look for a pawn shop tomorrow.”

“Something special happening tomorrow?”

Oh boy. “Please do not get like Beau did about this, but I am going to the mall with Molly tomorrow. He mentioned there was a bookstore hiring somewhere in there.”

“He's helping you find a job?” Nott asked, sounding surprised. “That's very… _kind_ of him.” At least she hadn't called him Caleb's sugar daddy.

“I don't why he's doing all of this,” Caleb confessed, “but he has not asked me to do anything with him. Or to him.”

Nott definitely looked suspicious, but only said, “just be careful. And if you decide you want to date him, just let me know, and I'll start crashing at Beau's.”

“Nott!” Caleb flushed a bright red, and the goblin giggled.

Caleb went to sleep on the couch shortly after, leaving his bowl on the table with a promise to clean it in the morning. Nott rolled her eyes, but left it there, disappearing into his room and coming back shortly with his phone charger and a tower of blankets that dwarfed her. “I can camp out on the couch, too, if you'd like.”

“If you want to. I will not force you.” It didn't take any more of an invitation for Nott to snuggle up to Caleb, and he adjusted the blankets so that they were pulled over both of them. It was reminiscent of when they had first met - they had been a lot worse off, and usually ended up huddling together on their cheap mattress on the floor for warmth.

Fuck, Caleb really needed to get this job. He and Nott were doing _well_ , now - maybe they didn't have a car, and on some nights could barely afford food, but it was infinitely better than how it had been before. They couldn't _afford_ to go back to that. But what if he couldn't get the job? What if he was rejected again, and then bills were due at the end of the month, and now Nott had her estrogen costs to worry about, and-

His breathing must have increased, because he felt something land on him, scrabbling slightly to get a grip, before beginning to paw at his face. “ _Hallo_ , Frumpkin,” he mumbled, reaching out to scratch under the cat's chin. Frumpkin purred, settling down squished in between him and Nott, and Nott's wide yellow eyes opened to take the sight in.

“Were you getting worked up again?”

“Maybe a little bit, _ja_.” Caleb avoided her eyes, focusing on petting Frumpkin.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Nott began to stroke Frumpkin as well, though her position made her have to twist a little.

“ _Nein_. It is nothing, really. Just… worry.”

Nott hummed, but didn't push at it. “Good night, Caleb.”

“Good night, Nott.”

Nott was gone again when Caleb woke up. He found only empty space beside him, save for Frumpkin licking his cheek. The cat smelled very strongly - Nott must have fed it on her way out - and that reminded him that he really _should_ shower today. He had promised himself he would last night, but that had fallen through when he was so exhausted he could barely eat.

With a glance at his phone, he realized that, much to his chagrin, he had enough time before Fjord would pick him up that he really had no excuse _not_ to shower.

He heaved himself up with a sigh, Frumpkin padding after him as he made his way into the bathroom. The mirror above the sink was covered up, as per usual - neither he nor Nott liked seeing their reflections. It made it easier to just focus on _showering_. Turn the water on, don't look at the scars on his wrists, pour out the shampoo, don't look down at his skin, it'd only remind him of where Trent had touched… he continued through his mental checklist without much issue, before turning the water back off and grabbing a towel. As he did, he saw that his phone screen was lit up with a text from Molly.

 _Molly_ (peach emoji) _: what time do you get out of class?_

_Caleb: 3 P.M._

_Molly_ (peach emoji) _: ok! i'll meet you in the student parking._

_Caleb: Sounds good. Thank you._

_Molly_ (peach emoji) _: no problem! anything for you, darling_ (heart emoji)

Caleb had meant to ask what Molly's car looked like, but _fuck_ , what did 'anything for you’ mean? Darling? And the heart emoji? Instead of going down that rabbit hole, he set his phone down and got dressed, trying to push the sentence far from his mind.

Next was food. It seemed like Nott hadn’t left him anything, so he sucked it up and microwaved a slice of pizza. He noticed then that Nott had left the engagement ring on the counter. Without really thinking, he slipped it on his finger - it'd get lost in his mess of a bag.

It wasn't long before Fjord texted him that he and Jester were there. Caleb grabbed his bag and Frumpkin - who had been lurking around his feet the entire time, mewling for food even though it still had some left in its dish - before heading out the door.

Thankfully, there was no teasing this time when Caleb climbed into the car. Jester was rambling about hamster unicorns to Fjord, and barely paused in her tirade to let out a “hi, Caleb!” before turning back to Fjord, who just waved at him.

The rest of the day, Caleb was, put simply, a living ball of nerves. He found his classes almost _boring_ in his haste for them to end. He didn't have any classes with Molly, unfortunately - unfortunately? why the hell did he find that unfortunate? - so most of what he did was sit there, tapping his pencil, and sigh impatiently. It was a relief when the clock hit three, but at the same time, he was struck with a new bolt of anxiety. Well, two new bolts of anxiety, really. The most prominent being his same old worries about the job, and next being he still didn't know what the fuck Molly's car looked like.

He realized as he stepped outside, though, that he really shouldn't have worried so much; almost immediately he spotted a bright fucking purple car. He didn't know much about car models, but it appeared to be an older one, and a convertible. The top was down, currently, revealing Molly - who was revealing all too much in an extremely low-cut v-neck.

Fuck, Caleb's heart fluttered when Molly spotted him and grinned. “Nice car,” he commented as he opened the passenger door.

“Thank you!” Molly seemed to practically glow. “You can toss your bag in the back seat, by the way.” As Caleb moved to do so, he saw Molly's eyebrows raise. “You're engaged?” He sounded… gods, it was wishful thinking, but Caleb almost thought he sounded disappointed.

Caleb fidgeted with the ring - he had honestly forgotten he was wearing it. “ _Nein_ , I, uh… it is a long story, but I'm going to pawn it. I was going to ask, actually, if there were any pawn shops in the mall.”

He realized the implications too late as Molly said, “huh. Someone would really let go of a catch like you?” Was it just him, or had new interest sparked in the tiefling's bright crimson eyes?

Caleb's heart almost short-circuited - that had to be sarcasm, but he hadn't heard a hint of it in Molly's voice - but he managed to stutter out, “I-I was never, um, engaged in the first place. My friend…” fuck. What if Molly figured out who it was? “She, um, _found_ it, but she cannot give it back. So we were hoping to make a little money off of it.”

Molly chuckled, turning back his gaze back to the steering wheel and drumming his long nails against it. “I see. You were right, it _is_ a long story. Well, Pumat usually accepts trade-ins, so you should be fine. Ready to go?”

“ _Ja_ , I'm ready.” Caleb answered as he buckled. “Who is Pumat?”

Molly reached over to give Frumpkin a few strokes before shifting the car into _Drive_. “He runs a shop called The Invulnerable Vagrant. He's… interesting, to say the least. I think you'll like him, though.” Molly talked on and on about Pumat and the rest of the mall, only taking a breath to say, “want some music?” When Caleb nodded, he turned the radio on. “Change it to whatever channel you want.”

As Caleb fiddled with the radio, Molly continued about the mall. His relaxing voice filtered through, informing Caleb about how he worked at Hot Topic - unsurprising - and how he had met Toya there, as well as Yasha, later. Apparently Beau had started coming in to flirt with Yasha, as well.

“Your friend’s kind of mean,” Molly added as he mentioned Beau. His tone, though, told Caleb he wasn't very hurt by it.

“She is. She can be nice, sometimes, though. Even if she will never admit it.”

Molly laughed - _fuck_ , he had such a nice laugh, Caleb found himself thinking he'd do anything just to hear it - and shot Caleb a smile. “I see. Yasha seems to like her, at any rate, so I guess she has _some_ kind of appeal.”

The drive was actually _nice_. Caleb had thought he'd be on edge around Molly, and maybe he was, a little bit - Molly was just such a confusing person, and of course there were his friends’ warnings or advice or whatever the hell that had been, not to mention the anxiety he always had around other people - but he found himself as comfortable as he was around any of his other friends. And since Molly held most of the conversation, so all he really had to do was sit back and listen.

When they pulled up to the mall, though, that familiar anxiety returned. Caleb held Frumpkin closer to his chest, and Molly glanced over at him, placing a comfortingly warm hand on his shoulder. “It'll be fine, really. You're just checking out the store today, and I don't know much about her, but I've heard the owner's very nice.”

Caleb wasn't at all sure if that helped him, but he nodded, forcing himself to take deeper breaths. Molly gave him a reassuring smile, before leading him into the building. Caleb noticed, belatedly, that Molly hadn't removed his hand - the opposite, actually, his entire arm was now around Caleb's shoulder - but Caleb told his traitor of a heart that it was just so he wouldn't get lost. Or something like that.

Surprisingly, Molly led him into a Starbucks first. At the moment, only a few other patrons appeared to be inside, and no one else was in line. “This is not a bookstore,” Caleb remarked drily, and Molly laughed.

“Very observant. No, I figured we'd get drinks first. What do you want? My treat.”

“I can't let you do that. I think I have some money-” Caleb supported Frumpkin carefully with one hand as he moved to look for his wallet - shit, he hadn't left it in his bag, had he? - but was stopped by a hand on his. Fuck, that sent all sorts of thoughts through his traitor mind.

“It’s not a big deal, Caleb, really.” Molly gave him a soft smile. “If you want, you can pay me back after you get the job. But I _like_ spending money on my friends.”

Caleb silently thanked the gods Beau wasn't here with her smug sugar daddy comments.

“I suppose that is agreeable,” he said finally, pulling his hand away to better cradle Frumpkin.

“Good man.” Molly patted his shoulder once more before turning to face the menu. “So, what'd you want to drink?”

“I'll get a tuxedo frappuccino.” Caleb decided - he didn't know what half of these drinks were, so he went with one of the ones on the cheaper end.

Molly looked like he was about to say something, but shrugged it off. “Let's go order, then.” With that, he led Caleb up to the counter. “Hi there!” He said, leaning on the counter as he did, before the barista - a half-elf who didn't look much older than either of them - could even begin. “Could we get a venti double chocolate chip creme frappuccino and a... what size did you want? Venti?” he asked Caleb, who nodded, and he continued, “a venti tuxedo frappuccino, please? You can put down Molly for the name.”

The barista looked a little stunned, but nodded. “Anything else?” At Molly's “nope,” the half-elf continued with the cost. Fuck, Caleb's heart dropped. That was the same amount he and Nott spent on entire goddamn _meals_. But Molly just nodded and pulled out his wallet - an awfully gaudy one that resembled a peacock in coloration - before taking out the cash required and handing it over.

“Molly, really, I can split the cost-” Caleb started, but Molly waved him off with a smile.

“Caleb, dear, you're fine. Really. I figured it would cost about this much.” Molly shoved his wallet back into his pocket. “Here, let's move out of the way, just in case someone else comes up.”

Caleb followed him to the side counter, barely registering anything besides _dear_.

Their drinks came quickly - unsurprising, considering they were the only people waiting - and Molly picked them both up, before turning to Caleb. He seemed to realize something, his brow furrowing slightly. “Should we sit down? So you don't have to carry both your drink and Frumpkin.”

Huh. That probably would be smart. “I think so,” Caleb responded, and Molly didn't hesitate to sit down on the couch by the counter and gesture for Caleb to sit down beside him. Caleb followed him, releasing Frumpkin once he had sat down. The cat sprawled out across his lap, and Molly handed Caleb his drink before wiping his hand off and stroking Frumpkin. The cat purred, pushing its forehead into his palm, and he grinned, looking up at Caleb.

“That's good, right?”

Caleb took a sip of his drink, chuckling. “ _Ja_. That means he likes you.”

“Cats tend to,” Molly mumbled, scratching under Frumpkin's chin. Then he shot a devious grin in Caleb's direction. “All cats love me. And you know what that makes me, Caleb?”

“Catnip?”

“No- well, fuck. Yes, but that's not what I was gonna say.”

“Then what?"

Molly's lip twitched, and he looked like he could barely contain his laughter. “The pussy god.”

Caleb choked on his drink, almost wheezing with laughter. “That is _awful_ , Molly.”

“I'm not wrong, though. You can't tell me I'm wrong.” Molly was barely able to speak through his own laughter - loud, hearty laughter that attracted attention from the other patrons, but Caleb found that, for once, he didn't care.

“It is impossible for _every_ cat to like you, though.” Caleb pointed out, taking another long sip of coffee.

“I've never met a cat that didn't,” Molly declared. “Isn't that right, Frumpkin? You adore me. I am your god.” He scratched under the cat's chin, and was rewarded with a purr strongly resembling a motorboat.

“Frumpkin likes everyone,” Caleb pointed out.

Molly pouted. “You like me the most, though, right?” He asked the cat, leaning his face close to its. He was rewarded with Frumpkin batting at the jewelry that dangled from his horns.

“I believe he just likes how shiny you are.”

“How cruel.” Molly gently disentangled the cat's claw from his hair, since it had somehow managed to swing and miss wildly enough to catch there. “ _You_ like me for more than how shiny I am though, right, Caleb?” He winked, and Caleb felt his heart stutter to a stop. He looked away, hoping he wasn't blushing _too_ badly.

“Perhaps,” he responded, trying to keep up the playful mood.

Molly let out a fake gasp, a hurt expression crawling onto his features. He placed a hand on his chest in order to further feign surprise. “My two favorite men in the world, and they only like me for my jewelry.” He paused. “Wait. Shite. Frumpkin's a boy, right?”

Although Caleb's head was spinning, he had to chuckle at that. “ _Ja_ , he is.”

Once they finished their drinks, Caleb picked up Frumpkin again, and Molly led him through the mall. “I don't go there much, but I think it's… this way?” He mumbled to himself, and after a few twists and turns, successfully managed to locate a store called Chastity's Nook.

Caleb trailed behind Molly as they stepped inside, a chiming bell announcing their arrival. The store was breathtaking to Caleb - there were so many books they had to be stacked almost floor to ceiling. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Molly watching him with what appeared to be a fond expression.

A mousy older woman looked up from the counter when the bell rang, and she rushed up to them. At a cursory glance, she appeared  to be one of only two people staffing the shop at the moment. “Can I help you with anything?”

Caleb glanced up at Molly, who nodded encouragingly, before saying, “ _nein_ , just browsing for now. My friend tells me you may be hiring, though?”

“When can you start?”

Caleb was definitely caught off guard. “What?”

“When can you start?” The woman repeated, appearing slightly impatient now. "Look around, we're understaffed. If you can help, we need it."

“Wh-” Caleb started, but Molly gently elbowed him. “I can start tomorrow. But I, um, will need my cat with me…” he ran his fingers through Frumpkin's fur. He had the paperwork in his bag that required most establishments to allow the cat, but he hated having to throw it around - not to mention he'd left his bag in the car.

The woman waved a hand dismissively. “That's fine. He can be the store mascot. What hours can you work?”

He shot Molly another _what the fuck_ look, and received in response a hand gesture he assumed meant  _go with it_.

“My classes end around three, so three-thirty on weekdays. Weekends I can work any hours.” Belatedly, Caleb realized he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get a ride. He wondered if he should bring it up, but things were going so well, already. He could figure this out later.

“Great.” The woman had already turned to her countertop and begun scribbling something down. “Your first shift is three-thirty to nine-thirty tomorrow. I’ll have the rest of the week's schedule tomorrow. There's no uniform, but I'll need to make you a nametag. Your name is?”

“Caleb. Widogast.” Things were moving almost too fast for him to comprehend, but Molly's hand on his shoulder - when had that happened? - helped keep him grounded.

“Great. See you then, Mr. Widogast.”

“Yes. Thank you.” Then Molly was gently guiding him out of the bookstore, and Caleb smiled at him. “Thank you, Molly. Really.”

Molly grinned back at him, looking almost more delighted than he was. “You're very welcome! I didn't do much, though, besides see the Help Wanted poster. That was all you. Now, shall we get rid of that engagement ring of yours?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> germany was suuper fun, but im glad to be back home now ! it was a lot different than i expected but definitely in a good way !! i also bought dice lmao + i got a kitten !!! hes adorable but SO full of energy and will not stop walking across my goddamn keyboard while i try to edit
> 
> in fic news, i have this almost entirely planned out - its a little on the short side and not how i set out to write it but its my first complete multichapter ! 8 chapters is the predicted length, but that may change bc i made one chapter double length on accident, so i may chop that in half if i find a good point in it to do so
> 
> and one more thing ! id like to say another thanks for all the wonderful comments, im awful at replying but they really do mean the world to me


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Molly take care of the ring, and decide to drink to celebrate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentioned/implied sexual abuse/pedophilia towards the end
> 
> it's been a while ! i'll explain more about my absence in the end notes, but the basis is that i've been super busy and not had a ton of motivation to write. this was a chapter i wrote ages ago and never got around to editing. as it is i'm not sure if i'm too happy with this chapter, but as i mentioned before, i already have chapters beyond this written, so i don't want to change too much atm. more on that as well in the end notes
> 
> also i know NOTHING about ring pricing, i generally googled around and tried to pick a middle price, but if anyone actually knows anything about ring prices feel free to comment what'd be more accurate

Their next stop was The Invulnerable Vagrant. Even the air seemed to be different as they stepped inside - the place was cluttered in that it had so many different wares, but all of it was neat and organized. A kindly-looking firbolg was handling another customer, but when he saw them he called out, “Pumat, can you handle them?” and another firbolg stepped forward.

A firbolg who looked the exact same.

“There are four of them,” Molly explained, seeing Caleb's shocked look. “I don't know if they're quadruplets or what, but all of them answer to Pumat.” Then he stepped forward, waving. “Pumat Sol! How've you been?”

“Good! Very good, in fact. Business has been has been booming. And I see you've brought me a new customer.” Pumat eyed Caleb up and down as he spoke.

“ _Ja_ , yes, I was looking to sell an engagement ring?” Caleb worked the ring off of his finger as he spoke, careful not to jostle Frumpkin too much. “The engagement fell apart, so…” he lied. It honestly reminded him of the scams he had run with Nott, while they had still needed to do that in order to get by. The thought brought up all sorts of mixed emotions - they were doing so much better, but now they had to  _stay_ better, and there were so many new complications.

“Say no more, I completely understand.” The firbolg accepted the ring, eyeing it carefully for what seemed like ages. “I can give you, let's say... fifteen hundred?”

Caleb thought he was going to faint. “Fifteen hundred?”

Pumat eyed him warily, and appeared to get the wrong idea. “Fifteen hundred. With some taken off for use, you understand.”

“ _J-ja_ , of course. Fifteen hundred suits me just fine.” No way in hell was he going to push his luck with this amount of money.

“Good! I'll get you your money, then.” Pumat moved behind the counter, opening the register and - _fuck_ , that was a lot of money he was pulling out. Most of them were hundred dollar bills, but still, that was a _lot_ of hundred dollar bills.

“Thank you.” Caleb was barely able to get the words out, studying the fistful of cash he had just given.

“Pleasure doing business with you! Anything else I can help you with today?”

Caleb glanced at Molly questioningly, and the latter gave a cheerful, “that’s all for today! Take care, Pumat.”

As they stepped out, Caleb was quick to stuff the money into his pocket. It wasn't a shady area by any means, but still, the sooner he was out of here, the better. Walking around with a fistful of cash was never a good idea - a concept he was well aware of, having been both the thief and victim at separate points. “I… wow,” was all he was able to say.

“You could've pushed him for more, you know. That ring was probably bought for twice that, _at least_.”

“Maybe. But fifteen hundred is still very much.” Caleb suddenly turned towards him. “You should take some of it. For helping me.”

Molly immediately shook his head. “That's _your_ money. Your friend st- _found_ the ring, and you sold it. It should be split between you two.”

“You've done a lot for me, Molly. Please.” He moved to pull the money back out, but Molly gently grabbed his wrist.

“How about you buy me drinks tonight? You can consider it repaid.”

Caleb had never been one for drinking - whenever he went out with his friends, he only had one or two, partially to make up for Beau and Nott getting hammered each time - but hell, if Molly wanted this simple thing, Caleb would gladly give it to him. “Sounds good to me.”

“Great! Should we go right now, then?”

“It is not even five.”

“Even better!”

Caleb rolled his eyes, but finally submitted. “We should get going, then.”

The drive was just as comfortable as the first. Molly sang along to songs on the radio - gods, Caleb could listen to him sing for the rest of his life - while Caleb texted Nott.

_Caleb: Coming home late tonight. With good news._

_Nott: How late?_

_Caleb: I don't know. Molly wants to go out for drinks._

_Nott: Stay safe._

_Caleb: I will._

The rest of the drive Caleb spent idly, petting Frumpkin and tucking his new money into his wallet - which he made sure he had on him this time as they walked into the bar. It was a skeezy place, as most bars were. There weren't many patrons at this hour, but the bartender waved at Molly. “Going on your tab again?”

“I am paying.” Caleb said, and that was when the bartender noticed him. They looked him up and down, and if he wasn't mistaken, there was a soft smirk on their face.

“Your funeral. So, what'll it be to start you off?”

Two beers was what Molly told the bartender, before sending Caleb off to find a table for the two of them. Although Caleb couldn't hear what he was saying as he chattered away to them, he caught a couple glances sent back at him, and could see the bartender’s shoulders shake as they laughed. Then Molly joined him at the corner table he had chosen, setting the beers on the table. Caleb accepted his drink, letting Frumpkin stretch out on his lap. He was worried, having the cat out here, but it was probably too warm out to risk shutting it in the car. Frumpkin seemed content enough, though, and none of the patrons seemed bothered.

They chatted as they drank, Molly mostly taking the lead again. Molly also, coincidentally, drank the most - Caleb stopped about halfway through his first drink, after realizing Molly would almost definitely be too drunk to drive at this rate. He had slid the beer over to Molly, who double-checked that Caleb was okay with it before downing it.

For a while, Caleb was content with handing over more money whenever Molly wanted a new drink - and it wasn't even the _money_ that made him pull the plug, it was the fact that the tiefling was getting to a point where he stumbled instead of strode. “We should get going, Molly,” he finally said, as Molly stood to get another drink.

“Just one more drink?”

“You said that three drinks ago.” Admittedly, Molly's alcohol tolerance _was_ impressive, but even he had a limit, it appeared. Caleb was familiar enough with this routine thanks to Beau and Nott, moving over to support Molly. He ended up with one arm draped over his shoulder, his movements somewhat awkward since he still had to cradle Frumpkin.

“You know, maybe once we get to my apartment, I can give you a proper thank-you.” Molly's words were slurred, but the message was clear enough.

“You have nothing to thank me for. All I did was buy you drinks with money that should have been yours to begin with.” Caleb pretended he didn't hear the intent behind Molly's words. The man was just drunk, that was all.

“I have everything to thank you for, Caleb. You make me very happy.”

“We met a few days ago, and you are very drunk.” Caleb carefully led Molly out of the bar, with a concerned glance from the bartender.

"He's been getting like this more and more often," they remarked. "Keep an eye on him, will you?"

That didn't sound good. “I will make sure he gets home safe,” Caleb promised, and they nodded, returning to wiping down the countertop.

Caleb briefly hoped that the slightly cooler air outside - the sun had just set, leaving streaks of color still visible on the horizon - would help clear Molly's head, but Molly only leaned closer into Caleb with a mumble of, “you're warm.”

That sent a shudder through Caleb, and he cleared his throat. “Where are your car keys?”

Molly pulled away, rummaging through his coat pocket, and after what seemed like forever, managed to produce the keys. Caleb took them, ignoring the jolt he felt as his fingers brushed Molly's, and unlocked the car, holding the passenger door open for him. Once Molly had climbed in, Caleb asked, “could you hold Frumpkin for me?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Caleb gently placed the cat on his lap, and he seemed extremely entertained by running his hands through its fur and then pressing his face into said fur.

Caleb sat in the driver's seat, realizing as he did just how long it had been since he had driven. Since before he had met Nott, even. Back when he had known… he shook his head to clear that thought from his head, forcing it away before it could even form. Not tonight. He couldn't deal with that tonight. Or really, any night, but right now he had to get Molly home and then get _himself_ home.

“Oh, what's your address?” He asked, realizing belatedly that in order to take Molly home he'd have to know it.

“4272 Oak… No, 4722…” Molly went on like this for a while before saying, “oh! I live with Yasha, she'll know,” and wrestling his phone out of his pocket to hold out to Caleb.

“I do not know your password,” he said, trying to hand it back, but Molly waved him off.

“One two three four.”

To Caleb's surprise and disappointment, it worked. “You need a better password,” he remarked, then his heart stuttered to a stop as he saw that Molly's lockscreen was _him_. A picture taken earlier today in Starbucks, when he was laughing so hard at _pussy god_ that he must not have noticed it being taken.

He hated seeing his own face, but it felt rude to change Molly's lockscreen, so he continued to Contacts. Since it was alphabetical, right after _Beau_ (poop emoji) was _Caleb_ , this time with a heart emoji next to it. Okay. That didn't have to mean anything. Molly had emojis next to pretty much every contact name, albeit no other heart emojis. Finally, he found _Yasha_ (bat emoji), and clicked call.

It only took a few rings before Yasha - or, rather, the person Caleb assumed was Yasha - picked up. “Molly?”

“Um, Caleb, actually. I-I am a friend of Molly-”

“I know who you are.” The soft voice wasn't unkind, exactly, but there was something to it he couldn't read.

“Right. I was going to drop Molly off, because he's very drunk, but he cannot remember your address.”

Yasha listed off the address, and there was a long pause before, “did you need something else?”

“ _Nein_ , sorry. Goodbye.”

“Bye.”

Yasha hung up, and Caleb let out a relieved sigh. Not the worst phone call he’d ever had, but he got the distinct impression that neither of them was, by nature, a very talkative person.

Caleb quickly punched the address into his phone, spotting and affixing it to the GPS holder a moment later. As he drove, he asked, “do you want some music on?” and pretended Molly hadn't been staring more than usual.

“The music of your voice is enough for me,” Molly responded without hesitation, and Caleb flushed red, looking back towards the road. The drive continued like that - Molly being overly affectionate and Caleb pretending he didn't notice.

As they parked, Molly seemed to redouble his efforts. “ _Caleb_ ,” Molly drew out the syllables as he spoke. “Has anyone ever told you how cute you are?”

Caleb rolled his eyes as he walked around to the passenger side of the car, helping Molly out. “No, not really.” His voice was slightly strained as he spoke - Molly was deceptively heavy. Thankfully, Frumpkin hopped out of the car and seemed content to circle around Caleb's ankles, so he didn't have to attempt to carry it _and_ Molly.

“I guess I have to do everything, then. Your eyes are _such_ a beautiful blue and I love the way the sunlight hits your hair and…” Molly continued to babble as Caleb hauled him up the stairs of the apartment building, Molly's keyring clutched in his hand.

As he fumbled with the keys in the door - gods, he hoped Yasha had told him the right apartment number - he felt a finger poke his cheek. “You're not listening to me, Caleb. You _need_ to know how cute you are.”

Caleb, to be honest, wasn't sure how to process this at all. The rational part of him told him that it was all just drunken rambling that Molly wouldn't even remember in the morning, but a small part of him hoped that there was some semblance of truth to what Molly was saying. He squashed that thought down immediately, though. There was no way that Molly - that _anyone_ \- could feel that way about him.

“I am listening,” he hummed, closing the door behind him - after making sure Frumpkin had scampered inside - and flicking the lights on. It was more well-kept than he had expected, though he had to wonder if that was because of Molly or Yasha. A couple trinkets laid around, appearing to be things they had snagged from Hot Topic as part of their employee discount. A pair of gaudily painted scimitars hung on the wall over their small TV. Nothing much was out of the ordinary, although he did notice a bottle of Excedrin on the countertop.

Shit.

“Molly, that is not yours, is it?” He hissed urgently. _Fuck_ , Caleb didn't know exactly what happened when alcohol and this particular medicine mixed, but if it was anything like most medications, it'd end in a trip to the hospital.

Molly glanced up, his eyes skimming over the room before he saw what Caleb was pointing at. “The Ex… Exce… fuck? Excefuck? The Excefuck is Yasha’s.”

“Thank the gods.” Caleb let out an audible sigh of relief. “Alright, which room is yours?”

Molly pointed, and Caleb half-led half-dragged him inside. It was sparser than he had expected - a few gaudy but strangely welcoming paintings on the wall, a couple Funko Pops, tarot cards stacked on the dresser, and what appeared to be a peacock figurine were what took up most of the room. The bed itself had blankets that were an absolutely abhorrent shade of purple, and they were carelessly tossed aside at the moment, instead of being neatly made.

Caleb intended to drop Molly on the bed, but as he did, long purple arms wrapped around him, pulling him down. “Stay,” Molly mumbled, burying his face in Caleb's chest. His arms were loose enough, though, that Caleb could easily pull away if he wanted to.

Caleb was about to protest, but he realized, belatedly, that he didn't really have a way home. If he took Molly's car back, that would leave _Molly_ without a car tomorrow morning. Maybe he could hitch a ride from one of his friends, but he had a feeling they were all busy - except for Nott, who was unemployed, but it wasn't like she had a car, either.

“I suppose I have to.” He said finally, and Molly looked up at him with a grin.

“There's that smile I love!” Had Caleb been smiling? He hadn't realized it until now.

“You love my smile?” Caleb realized it came out a little as baiting, perhaps, but he couldn't help it - it was something he could hardly believe.

“Mhm! It means you're happy, and I love it when you're happy. Especially when it's because of me. You deserve to be happy,” the last part was once more mumbled into Caleb's chest, and Caleb couldn't help letting out a dry chuckle.

“I really don't. I am a garbage person.” He looked away as Molly gazed back up at him with a confused expression. “I have done many horrible things.”

“Why'd you do them?”

Oh, what the hell. Molly wouldn't remember this in the morning. “I was involved with… a very unsavory man, when I was younger. He convinced me to do a-a lot of things. A lot of very bad things that hurt a lot of people.” Fuck, Trent had been so much older. Caleb had thought it was fine at the time. _It was true love_ , Trent had told him.

“Caleb…” What was that in Molly's tone? Disgust? Pity? Horror? Caleb couldn't tell, couldn't see the expression on Molly's face - fuck, when had he started crying? - but he let Molly gently place a hand under his chin, guiding him to look at the tiefling.

Gentle, warm lips pressed a soft kiss to Caleb's cheek, where one of the tears had begun rolling down. The action was extremely clumsy, since Molly was still drunk, but Caleb found that he didn't mind. With a soft whisper of “come here,” from Molly, he buried his face in the tiefling's chest.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, and he felt Molly's fingers begin gently carding through his hair.

“Don't be. And Caleb?”

“Hm?”

“It wasn't your fault.”

Fuck, that broke Caleb. Even if it wasn't true, hearing it _did_ something to him. He let out a muffled sob, and Molly held him closer. He wasn't at all sure how to feel right now - relieved? Disgusted with himself? Guilty? He was sure Molly would hate him if the tiefling was sober, or at least, he would if he knew the whole story. But even knowing part of it, here he was, running a calming hand through Caleb's hair and whispering slurred words that Caleb could hardly understand. The ones he _could_ understand were sweet, though, mostly reassurances.

He was weak, he was disgusting, he was awful in so many ways - but in Molly's arms, all of that seemed to fade away. Maybe it was because Molly was drunk, but he was so warm, so unbelievably gentle, so _unjudging_. What the hell had Caleb done to deserve someone like him?

He was vaguely aware of Frumpkin padding in, felt the bed dip under the cat's weight. He couldn't see, since he was still hiding his face in Molly's chest, but the cat settled on his back near the rise of his shoulders, a slow purr rising in its chest. He couldn't help but laugh softly as he felt the sandpaper tongue against his cheek.

Caleb realized, belatedly, that he hadn't told _anyone_ any of that before. Even Nott, who knew him better than anyone, didn't know. And Molly, who had known him for less than a week, had accepted it readily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi ! i'm so sorry for the unexpected sort of hiatus - i've been super super busy with adjusting to a new school, unpacking since we moved, taking care of the kitten (his name's porkchop and i love him dearly), etc ! i also now have a job, although as of now i haven't started there yet
> 
> in fic-related news, i'm super behind on critical role + in general i've had like NO energy, which is why i haven't been writing much. however, since this is very close to being finished, i'm gonna push through then go back and rewrite some scenes i wasn't too satisfied with or rushed in order to get to other scenes + if you also read my fics burnout pyro or deathwish, as i know a fair amount of you do, those will probably be un-updated a little longer, unless i have already-written chapters i forgot to add
> 
> also ! i just want to say thank you again to everyone who's left encouraging/positive comments on my works ! i don't always reply to them because i feel repetitive/awkward or just don't see them at first, but they really mean a lot to me, and i'm so glad some of you have stuck with me so long <3


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